quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
