NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize