can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
