My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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