He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
