This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
