hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
