He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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