So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
