Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
