It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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