woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
