Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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