Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
