She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you will always have a special place in my vag
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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