my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
