at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
