No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
