3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
