everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize