i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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