She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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