What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
