i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
