Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
