I accidentally had phone sex last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
