I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize