Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
