We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i came on her dog
There r osticjed everywhere
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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