Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
