im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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