how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
As shirtless as possible
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
