my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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