what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
