The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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