kristin has been a bad kristin
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
