I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
