The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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