After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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