Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
