K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
