I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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