piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
