He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
