if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
