Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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