WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
handjob tips. give me some.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
