I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
