Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
