if i can run in heels then i can drive
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
