love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize