Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
