And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
These tits shall not be calmed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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