Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
