Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize