chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
