i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So many bounce houses so little time
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
