sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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