Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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