okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize