screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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