Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
