Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Are we still banned from the library?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
