Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I FOUND THE LEGS
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize