So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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