I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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