Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There r osticjed everywhere
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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