Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
