How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
