Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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