Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize