Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
