How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
